The Serene Homecoming

Written by Kelly Ryan and Lisa Mullinax

After a hard day at work, there is nothing better than the sight of your dog waiting at the door, just dying to show you how much they missed you and love you. You respond with equal enthusiasm, giving him hugs and accepting his kisses all over your face. Maybe you immediately take him outside to throw the ball.

However, the more exciting your homecomings, the more your pup’s anticipation builds up throughout the day, leading to overenthusiastic greetings that include jumping on you and your guests. Sometimes, this anticipation can become so great that your puppy becomes destructive, releasing his stress by chewing furniture, tearing up landscaping, or even causing injury to himself. This type of behavior is called separation anxiety. There is a simple exercise that you and your entire family can practice;The Serene Homecoming. While

Coming Home

When coming home to your dog, remain very calm and casual so as not to excite him. Do not speak to your dog or make eye contact with him until he settles down, preferably until he lays down on his own. If it helps, look up at the ceiling as you walk past him to be sure you don’t make eye contact. If your dog jumps on you, ignore him and keep walking away from him.

Once your dog settles down (and they will eventually) then, and only then, can you calmly pet and greet him. Tell him he’s a good dog. Give him a treat. Make it rewarding to be a nice, calm dog. If your dog becomes overexuberant during this greeting, you must, once again, walk away and ignore him until he settles down again. Once he is settled, you can attempt to greet him again. Keep repeating this until your dog can remain calm while you greet him.

This is also an excellent exercise to use when visitors come over, as it is easier for them to ignore the dog and walk away, than try to master the coordination necessary for a physical correction.

Departures

Dogs learn by association, so it is not surprising that they can learn the difference between your work shoes and your dog-walking shoes. When you put on your work shoes, pick up your purse, put on your coat, grab your keys, your dog can start to associate these items or actions with your inevitable departure. Even the time of day that you take your shower can be a cue to your dog whether or not you are staying or leaving.

If your dog is already anxious when you leave, each one of these departure cues increases his anxiety. You can lower his stress by desensitizing these cues. For example, pick up your purse, put it over your shoulder, then sit on the couch and watch a movie. Same with your keys and work shoes. You can feed your dog at the same time each day, regardless of whether or not it is a work day. Soon, these actions or objects will not be associated with your departure, keeping your dog's stress levels down, making him better able to cope when you leave.

Further, just as you keep your homecomings calm, keep your departures matter-of-fact and free of emotion. It is best if you begin to taper off the attention you give your dog 15 minutes before you leave, so that the last 5 minutes are completely attention-free. This minimizes the contrast to your dog between when you are home and when you leave.

Conclusion

The Serene Homecoming not only prevents and treats separation anxiety, but it lets your dog know that it’s not a big deal when you leave, therefore it’s not that exciting when you come home.

Most dog owners report seeing a big difference in their dogs only a week after applying the Serene Homecoming.

While it may feel cold and cruel to ignore your dog when they are obviously so happy to see you, it is important to remember that this exercise is actually one of the kindest things you can do for your dog. To be able to reduce even the smallest amount of anxiety while you are gone will greatly benefit them. It is important to remember that this exercise is harder on us as humans than on the dog, evidenced by the almost immediate results that most owners see.